In the high-stakes worlds of international football and NRL, where public scrutiny is as relentless as the training schedule, Matildas star Mary Fowler and Penrith Panthers champion Nathan Cleary have crafted a private sanctuary built on a simple, steadfast rule: ignore the noise.
In an exclusive and wide-ranging interview promoting her deeply personal memoir, Bloom, Fowler has expanded on the “secret pact” that has become the bedrock of her relationship with Cleary, revealing the profound understanding and mutual support that defines one of Australia’s most watched sporting couples.
A Shield Against the Storm
“Early on, we realised that the commentary wasn’t about us—the people in the relationship—it was about an idea of us,” Fowler explained, speaking from her Manchester home. “Nathan and I made a pact not to read any articles or social media threads about our relationship. It wasn’t about being dismissive, but about protecting our space. Our feelings for each other shouldn’t be influenced by a stranger’s narrative.”
This conscious uncoupling from the media cyclone, she argues, has been critical for their mental well-being and the relationship’s authenticity. “When you’re in the public eye, it’s easy to start performing, even subconsciously. Our pact is a reminder that this is just for us. We’re the only two people in this partnership.”
Nathan Cleary, reached during pre-season training with the Panthers, echoed the sentiment. “It’s a bit of insulation,” he said. “We both have enough pressure and analysis in our professional lives—every pass, every kick, every decision is dissected. Your private life shouldn’t feel the same. Mary’s incredibly wise about that stuff. We check in with each other, not with the headlines.”
The First Date Jitters That Topped a World Cup
The revelation that adds a layer of charming audacity to their story is the timing of their first official date: the morning of Australia’s opening match of the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup against Ireland.
“The nerves weren’t really about the game at that moment,” Fowler recalls with a laugh in her book. “They were about seeing him. I didn’t tell a soul I was sneaking out for a coffee. It felt like my own little secret, this calm, normal moment before the storm.”
Cleary remembers it as a lesson in Fowler’s composure. “I was probably more nervous for her than she was for herself,” he admitted. “But she was so present, so calm. We just talked. It put a lot into perspective for me, seeing how she handled that balance. I walked away thinking, ‘Alright, she’s the real deal.’”
Fowler would go straight from that Sydney café to Stadium Australia, where she started in a tense 1-0 victory. “In a strange way, it settled me,” she reflected. “It was a reminder that there’s a whole world and a whole life outside of those 90 minutes, no matter how big the stage.”
Bonding Over the Mental Battle
While their sports are different, Fowler and Cleary—both pivotal, playmaking figures for their teams—have found profound common ground in the psychological demands of elite sport.
“Something really valuable is that we don’t talk much about tactics or technical stuff,” Fowler told The Australian. “It’s almost all about the mental side. The pressure, the focus, the recovery from a bad game, the management of expectation. Nathan has been through so much at his age—grand final wins and losses, intense public scrutiny. He’s a bit of a role model for me in that regard.”
Cleary demurred at the “role model” tag but acknowledged the synergy. “We get it. We understand the unique bubble we live in. Mary has an incredible mindset, incredibly resilient. We can have a five-minute conversation that might cover something the other has been processing for weeks, and just get it. That’s rare.”
Navigating the Distance and the Future
With Fowler based in Manchester for the Women’s Super League season and Cleary in Penrith, the 16,000-kilometre gap is a logistical reality. They bridge it with shared interests—both are self-confessed coffee snobs and avid readers—and strategic visits, like Cleary’s trip to England during the recent Rugby League Ashes series.
“You make it work,” Cleary stated simply. “The distance makes the time together more intentional. We’re both independent, driven people, so there’s a lot of respect for what the other is building.”
Fowler’s book, Bloom, details her past struggles with mental health and moments of doubt about her football career, making her current stability with Cleary a poignant contrast. “Having a partnership where you feel completely safe, where you’re not performing, is everything,” she said softly. “It allows you to be brave everywhere else.”
As both athletes look toward future World Cups, Championships, and Origin series, their pact remains their anchor. In the relentless glare of the spotlight, Mary Fowler and Nathan Cleary have chosen to write their own story, one private conversation at a time.
